My Circus

All the time I see girls on facebook linking up articles and blog posts about family planning. You know the ones. “Don’t ask me why I don’t have kids yet.” “No, I don’t want another baby yet.” “I want a big family/small family.” etc etc.

I used to find myself searching for those type of articles when we were a family with 2 kids and a family with 3 kids. I needed someone to justify my feeling of wanting more babies. Mostly, because everyone around me was telling me not to. When I had just Kamryn everyone asked us over and over again when we were going to give her a brother or a sister. Then once we had Logan the comments about being done because we had a boy and a girl started. After Kensington was born people REALLY wanted to drill into us we were done. Now that we have Tenley, we don’t come across a single person who doesn’t have a comment about the size of our family and/or telling us that we should stop having kids. Everyone says it with a smile but really, it’s everyone.

I remember after I had Kensington and those comments started I would get a knot in my stomach. I wanted another baby and everyone was telling me I shouldn’t. I wanted another baby so badly. I didn’t expect to have her only 16 months after Kensie was born but she was so incredibly wanted. What’s so bad about having a big family? Is it so bad if someone is content with 2 boys and decides not to try for that boy? And on the contrary…is it so bad if someone has 4 girls and decides to try for that girl one last time? 

Here’s the thing….I don’t care if you have no kids, if you have 1 or 20. Okay, 20 is a bit excessive. I hate that our society comes across like they think they know whats best for everyone. Notice I said our society “comes across like they think they know whats best”, I say this because I don’t think anyone means any harm by their comments. I think most of the time people are genuinely curious. I like to tease my friends and tell them to have babies and/or tell them to have more. But it’s just that…teasing. Sometimes it can come across rude and sometimes those words can be hurtful. I’ve been there and it sucks. 

Growing up pretty much every family I knew had 2, maybe 3 kids. I can think of a handful of families that had 4 or 5 and I know one family that had 7. My mom, was the oldest of 6 and my grandmother was the youngest of 13. Yes, times are different. Yes, everything is much more expensive. But, is it really our business if our neighbor decides to have 10 kids or just 1? No. Is it our business when they decide to do so? I don’t think so.

Tenley has been here for 2 months and we are finally getting into our groove. Everyone has adjusted to her being here and life is good. It has its crazy moments. There are times I don’t know how I can do this and there are times I find myself completely overwhelmed with how lucky I am. The latter being much more popular!! As a family of 6 and my 16 year old sister living with us our world is hectic but its so much fun! I’m sure people with 1 kid have just as much fun and even those with 8 kids. I’m sure the ones who have their kids 5 years apart have as much fun as me who did it every couple of years instead. I’m sure there is just as much love to go around whether you have 2 or 6 and I’m sure that somehow someway all those families figure out how to spread out there attention and figure out how to make things work financially. 

So, my point is. We’re all different people. Just because you had 2 kids and feel complete doesn’t mean everyone else is going to be the same as you. If someone had a baby and that baby is now 2.5 years old and they aren’t ready for another one, so what?!? I get it….its a conversation starter. Babies are a fun subject. But, you never know someones story. You never know if they had one and can’t have another for medical reasons. You never know if they have 5 and want 3 more. Why should we make someone feel like their feelings and wants for THEIR OWN FAMILY aren’t justifiable? 

One of my favorite sayings is: “Not my monkeys. Not my circus.”

These are MY monkeys. This is MY circus.

And whether or not you think we’re crazy for having a big family is none of my business! 

Hey! If we decided to have 4 more….none of your business either! ;) 

To each his own! 

Happy family planning y’all!!