What. A. Year?!? Am I right??
This year was unlike any other. I don't know about you but I am definitely ready for a reset. I find it really hard to put it into words what this year has taught me. When we started this year I was excited. I had a lot of things to look forward to in 2020 and then COVID hit. And well.....we all know what happened next. As most of you reading this, we typically live a pretty busy lifestyle. With 5 kids there's a lot of school (and all that goes with that), a lot of doctors appointments/dentist appointments/eye doctors appointments/etc, a lot of before and after school activities, a lot of school events, a lot of sports/activities, a lot of play dates, a lot of outings as a family, a lot of things to be done, we go go go and go. I do not have very many minutes to myself during the day. I won't lie and pretend deep down I'm this go go go person though, I like when things aren't so busy. I'm a homebody through and through. I'm happiest at home with my family. All 7 of us cozied up on the couch with snacks and movie is my happy place. But...this year being home was forced upon us. I went through many emotions with it. I was okay with it one minute and stressed and angry the next. I tried very very hard to see the good in it, I am a person who very much likes to see the positives in all situations. We've been through a lot of crap throughout the years that I've learned how important it is to be grateful no matter how bad times are but honestly, this year sometimes I fell short. The school part has definitely been the hardest for me. I joke about how people tried to talk me out of having a big family over and over again. No, they really did and....no. one. Not ONE SINGLE PERSON mentioned global pandemic and me basically homeschooling my kids. I would've stopped at 2! HA! Kidding....kind of. I struggle a lot with whats being asked of us when it comes to school. It just does NOT come natural to me. Tenley was supposed to do a year of preschool to get her ready for kindergarten next year (because my wildchild definitely needs it) and the preschool never opened. Kamryn, Logan and Kensington are doing hybrid learning, 1 day on the computer with their teachers, 2 days at school and they have a full load of schooling that's all on us 2 days a week. I fear I'm failing in this area of parenting (well in a lot of areas of parenting, lets be real but I digress...). However, I had parent teacher conferences last week and the week before and I'm happy to report Kamryn, Logan and Kensington are all doing FABULOUSLY! So, as stressed as I am...I guess we're doing okay!! I'm so proud of these kids! They are all old enough to really grasp what's happening, especially Kamryn and Logan, and while it hasn't been easy they are doing their best and that's all I can ask for.
I do not know what 2021 will bring. I'm hopeful but don't want to be too optimistic. 2020 has really taught me to reflect on what's important to me and what really matters. I feel like I really figured out who I am this year. I could go on and on about this but I'll leave it there. I hope you too took some time to reflect this year. All that to say, I still struggle daily...I don't want it to seem I got it all figured out this year. HA!
It's safe to say not one of us is going to forget 2020. I remember the day the kids came home from school backpacks full of all their stuff and they didn't go back til mid September. I'll remember looking at Mike and just breaking down crying (many many times) because it was all too much. I'll remember feeling lonely and more isolated than ever before. I'll remember everyone walking around like we are in the middle of a scifi movie with masks and having that feeling of 'is this real life?!?'. I will never forget the first time I put masks on my kids to go somewhere...talk about gut wrenching. I'll remember holidays and birthdays looking different than ever before. I'll remember sending them to school wondering if I was doing the right thing and bawling my eyes out pulling away as I saw a sea of children and teachers in masks. It was creepy! But most of all I'm going to remember this time with my family. I'm going to remember my kids becoming closer than ever. I'm going to remember us all enjoying Smiths first year and the kids really getting to soak this time up. Mike and I are coming up on 10 years of marriage this July and it's safe to say our marriage has never been stronger. So while yes, this year has sucked in so many ways....we've created memories to last a lifetime and my kids have learned that family is the most important thing in the world and for that I am forever thankful.
2020, I'm happy to see you go! Here's to 2021 being a whole lot better!!
And while we are here.....I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas!
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