How do you do it?

"How do you do it?" A question that I've been asked more times than I can count.

As a family of 8, I understand why people ask me this over and over again. My answer is usually "you just do what you've gotta do". But I think sometimes it's interesting to people on how we manage day to day. So, here's a list of things I do daily to keep us on track and keep our sanity intact. I'm sure you do a lot of this stuff too, even if you don't have 6 kids.

First thing to note is I don't have any help aside from the occasional babysitter. I don't have someone who helps me with anything around the house. It's all me, Mike and the kids. Can it be overwhelming? Yes. Do I wish I could afford some help with laundry and cleaning? Yes. But I can't so this is what we do to try to keep things somewhat manageable.

Second is to remember aside from Archie my kids are all at ages where they can do a lot for themselves. I don't have 6 babies; I have 5 kids and 1 baby. It was a lot harder when they were all small. 

I may turn this into a series because I could really dive more into these but for today, this will do. You asked, I answered, this is how we do it...

1. I write a list of to-dos every single day. Monday-Sunday. I sit at my kitchen table every morning while I sip my coffee, and I write down everything I need to do that day. From my daily walk on my walking pad to errands I need to run to which bathroom needs to be cleaned to who's laundry needs to be thrown in. I take pen to paper and jot it all down. There is a certain level of productivity that needs to go into every single day to make our lives run just a little smoother. At the end of the day, I see what didn't get crossed out and I add that to tomorrows to-dos.

2. I meal plan. I do not buy a single grocery item without planning out what we are eating for dinner every night. I am very regimented in this way because I got sick and tired of asking my family what they want for dinner only for every single one of them to look at me and say, "I don't know" and/or complain about what I was making. So now when I do my weekly grocery shop, it's all planned out.

3. I get my groceries delivered. I started doing this when Kensington and Tenley were babies and have gone back and forth between going to the grocery store and getting them delivered and I've realized ordering my groceries online helps keep me on budget. When I go to the grocery store, I tend to grab for things I don't need. Doing this also free's up a lot of time in my day. 

4. I do laundry every. single. day. My brother and I have this ongoing joke. Whenever he calls me, he's driving and I'm doing laundry. Even doing laundry daily, I never catch up. But! We always have clean clothes! I consider that a win. 

5. I have a calendar on my kitchen wall with everything we have going on that month. At the beginning of every month, I write it all down. That way all of us can keep track of what's coming, if mom or dad won't be home, who's got an appointment where and when. Could I do this on an app on our phones? Sure. But my younger kids don't have phones and this way I know it's right there in front of all of us.

6. Mike and I sit and have an afternoon snack and coffee every afternoon when he gets home from work. It's a nice time for us to catch up. We are so busy that date nights never happen, but we take this time to check in and see how each other are doing. We also do our nightly walks. With 6 kids I think two times a day for just us is really good considering. Lucky for us we really enjoy each other's company so carving out this time daily is easy.

7. Now you might be curious as to if our kids ever get one on one time with us. While it's rare, we do try. Kamryn and I watch a tv show a few nights a week just us. Logan and Mike box together. If the kids have an appointment, I make sure to get them a little treat afterwards and just sit and talk with them. For example, Mike took Kensington to the orthodontist yesterday and stopped at Dunks to get her a refresher on the way home. She was thrilled! If anyone has an event at school, open house, play, banquet, etc etc. Mike and I go with just that kid. We could take the whole crew, but this gives that specific kid the chance to have us all to themselves. These little moments really make the kids feel special and it's essential when you have this many kids to carve out this time.

8. Drown out the noise. There is not a person out there who doesn't have an opinion on our family size. Whether it's positive or negative, people have thoughts about it. I have to remind myself sometimes that this is my life, not anyone else's. My kids all get more than enough attention, they love all their siblings, my husband works his ass off to provide for our family, I'm here with them every single day and we do it all ourselves. Mike and I are a team, and we tackle everything together. That doesn't mean we are perfect, but we both try every single day. If someone has a negative opinion on our family, there's nothing I can do it about it. So, I let it go in one ear and out the other.

9. A big way I "do it" is I don't have much of a social life. Having a big family means I dedicate my life to my family. It's a choice that goes into having so many kids. Do I miss time with my friends? Yes, very much so. I'm envious of moms who get girls nights and have a core group of friends they see on the regular. But right now, I just don't have the time for it. I'm hopeful as my kids grow and have a little more independence, I'll be able to give a little more to that part of my life.

10. This is probably the most important one. I've come to the realization; I cannot do it all. It's impossible. It'll never ever happen. Our kids are happy, fed, clean, clothed, loved and healthy? We're doing okay. I give myself grace. Lots of grace. Sometimes I go to bed with dishes in the sink and load the dishwasher in the morning. Or I'll have a bunch of laundry that still needs to be folded. I know when I've hit the wall and my sanity and getting enough sleep is higher on the priority list than dishes or laundry. Somedays I go to bed at the end of the night and realize I forgot to remind/ask the kids if they have homework because the day got away from me. I really have learned to be much more laid back as my family has grown bigger and bigger. I'm not perfect, I'll never ever be perfect, and I'll never try to be perfect. Perfect is boring anyways. Giving myself grace is essential.

There are ten things I like to do regularly to keep things running semi-smoothly. Not to be repetitive, but I cannot stress enough how much I've had to chill out as I've gotten older and our family has grown. I am so much more laid back than I was in my 20's. It's not that I used to run myself ragged to get everything done, but I used to beat myself up when I didn't get everything done and now, I really just don't care. I'll get to it, eventually. Someday my kids are all going to be grown and out of my house and that'll be the season where I'm caught up on everything. Spending quality time with my kids and husband is number one for me. We don't have this wildly huge expendable income, so we don't go out to eat much and vacations are few and far. We cannot afford to have the kids in a bunch of activities', but we do our best to lean into their interests. Mike and I both agree we'd rather all these kids than any of that and I think the kids would rather that too. We don't have a "village" per-say, our family of 8 is our village. Our kids do chores, once a month we do a huge family clean up around the house and we all pitch in as much as we can. We keep things scheduled and as organized as possible, even if it's more like organized chaos. We go without a lot of the extras that others really enjoy, but that's a choice we made when we decided to have so many kids. Our lifestyle isn't for everyone, but it works for us.

2 blog posts 2 days in a row?!? Who's this girl??? Gosh I could've kept going on this topic. Life as a family of 8 is definitely a trip at times but it's normal for us. I always joke and say, "I don't think life is supposed to be this overwhelming." LOL! Because there are moments where my head is spinning and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to be in 3 places at once. Somehow, we always figure it out.

What topics do you think I should talk about next? Let me know in the comments!

xoxo,

Kristen