Grammy

 

Lovingly referred to as Midge by my Pa, Margaret Donga passed away and we laid her to rest as a family yesterday so she could be with Jesus. She was "Mom" to 4 daughters and 2 sons and "Grammy" to 13 grandchildren and 14 great-grandchildren. As my brother said if there ever was a matriarch of a family, it would be our Grammy. She was the glue that held us together. Our foundation as my Uncle Matt said yesterday. No matter what went on in our lives we always came back together for Grammy. She made sure of it.

Personally, Grammy taught me so many things. I think if I try to list them out for you I'm sure to forget something but I'll try. She taught me to always put family first and there's nothing wrong with that. Friends come and go, family is forever.

She taught me you can never be too dressed up, even if you're just going to the supermarket. She taught me that big sunglasses never go out of style. Just yesterday my brother pointed out that my sister and I definitely got that trait from Grammy. We love to dress up and do our hair and make-up. I like to think I get my love for stripes from Grammy as well.

She taught me how to love unconditionally. I can vividly hear her saying to me "Kristen, people screw up but we love them anyways." No matter what, everyone in our family knew that while she might get upset with you, Grammy/Mom loved you and that would never change. Motherhood, boy did she teach me a lot about motherhood. Grammy had 6 kids and I have 5. I so wish I had more time to ask her advice. But I know when I did ask she had the BEST advice. She reminded me to keep those expectations low and be proud when they exceed them. As long as everyone has a bed, clothes, food, is healthy and happy, you're doing okay.

I sat at her kitchen table many many times and she taught me about love and marriage. Her and my Pa have been holding hands since they were 11 years old (Yes ELEVEN!). He says they used to sneak onto each others front porches in Southie and pass love notes to each other. Grammy told me a story about how when they were teenagers she had a nice young man walking her home and my Pa, Ed, walked over and asked "Can I walk you home?" She said "No, hes going to walk me." and Ed just smiled and said "Okay, I'll wait." and she knew right then and there she found her forever. By the time they were 21 they were married and starting a family. My Pa says everyone told them they were too young, but fast forward until well into their 80's I think its safe to say everyone was wrong. That's not to say it was easy, it absolutely was not and my Grammy never shied away from telling me that. She told me how much work marriage is but reminded me it was very much was worth it. My Grammy and Pa are absolutely without a doubt the couple Mike and I look up to. I am so thankful to see their example and to have witnessed true love. 65 years of marriage...truly an accomplishment and one beautiful lifetime together. The love they share is one for the story books.

On the ride from the church to the cemetery yesterday my cousins and I all shared our favorite memories with Grammy. She had THE BEST traditions! Jello in champagne glasses that as we laughed it didn't matter if you were 18 months old, you could take that glass champagne glass to have your jello in. Sleepovers with buttered popcorn, so much butter she gave you multiple napkins. Grammy made THE BEST french toast and the kicker? You could drink Pepsi with breakfast at Grammy's! A freezer always stocked with lifesaver popsicles and we could have as many as we wanted, it didn't matter what our parents said! And in the fride? Reese's and Pepermint Patties!! And every holiday made sure to get the best desserts from Konditor Meister. We all have many many memories of holidays together, Grammy's fabulous cooking, dance parties in the family room, but most of all just being together. Grammy taught us how important it is to just be together!

Words cannot express how much all our hearts are breaking, how much we will miss her and how much we wish we could change. It still feels surreal our matriarch is gone. I hope she knows just how thankful each and every one of us are to have had the most fabulous Mom/Grammy on the planet. We have been truly blessed. 

But if I know my Grammy she's up there smiling down on us. She's in a much better place now. She's happy we were together. But most of all she's proud of the legacy her and my Pa have built. One gigantic wild at times, dysfunctional (aren't all the best families dysfunctional?), but most of all beautiful family that started with just two kids in Southie passing love notes. It's a beautiful story and truly a tale as old as time.

We love you so much Grammy.....until we meet again.