I try my best not to give unsolicited parenting advice. I’ve had plenty of it myself, and honestly, there’s not much that bothers me more than a mom who acts like she has it all figured out. After 15.5 years of motherhood, I’ve learned that every single mom has her own approach and nine times out of ten, it just works. Just like no two kids are the same, no two households or parents are the same. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to do our best.
However, in the world of social media, it’s easy to start second-guessing yourself. It seems everywhere you turn there's someone telling you how to do it and implying that you are doing it wrong. So let me say this as a mom of six: I don’t have all the answers. I’m still even after all these years asking for advice, help, and perspective from moms in all different seasons of life. If you’re not leaning on your friends and family, I truly don’t understand...because no one, not even a mom of six with six very different kids, has it all figured out.
That said, having six kids does mean I get asked for advice a lot. I’m always happy to share my experience, but I’ll also always encourage you to trust your gut. I've found it’s the one parenting tool that will never steer you wrong.
So, when I asked on my social media what you all would like to see on my blog coming up a few of you had kid/school routine questions. Many people are already back in school but up here in Massachusetts we don't start for a couple weeks. For some parents this is the first year they will have kids at multiple schools at multiple start times and then the same thing at the end of the day but add in homework and activities. Well, you asked, I'm going to answer....this is what we do at the Sass house.
I am the schedule and routine queen. I've been this way since Kamryn was a baby, long before I ever thought it was a possibility I would have SIX KIDS. Without my schedule I would die. That's not an exaggeration. When I lay my head on my pillow at night, I know exactly how my day will look the next day.
Now this year I will have 5 kids at 3 different schools. Kamryn at the high school, Logan at the middle school and Kensington, Tenley and Smith at the elementary school. They all take the bus and the buses come at 6:30, 7:40 and 8:40. So yes, my day starts very early. Last year was my first year to do this and I stressed and worried for weeks leading up to school. I also had an infant who had me up at least once or twice a night at the time. But once I got into my new routine, I loved it and really enjoyed it. This is why I love a routine; it makes it so much less stressful and more enjoyable when you know what to expect.
Some key things that help our morning run smoothly:
- I make sure each kid gets up at least an hour before their bus comes. That way they have plenty of time to eat breakfast, wash up, get dressed and chill rather than hit the ground running.
- Kamryn and Logan pick out her own clothes but to keep things moving I usually lay out outfits for Kensington, Tenley and Smith to wear. They still trust my judgement and I enjoy doing it.
- Now I usually don't pack snacks or lunches the night before, but I know many many people who do this. It depends on if you have the time to do it in the morning or not. My kids all like to buy lunch at school (and in Mass its free so saves me some $$), but my 3 younger ones need to bring a snack. I'm up plenty early enough to grab something for them but most days this is something they do themselves. I always hit up Bjs and make sure to have lots of their favorite grab and go snacks that they can choose from.
- Take help if someone offers it!! Or ask if you need it. Logan gets a ride to his bus stop everyday by our neighbor. It's so helpful and much appreciated.
- Get into the habit of paying attention to the time. I know exactly when my kids need to be brushing their teeth in order for us to hit the bus on time. I know when they need to be awake, when they need to be getting dressed, when the snacks need to be in the bags. It's a science but once you figure this out you won't be rushing out the door.
Now after school is a whole different thing. 3 days a week Kamryn will have cheer right after school, with football games on Friday night and Logan will have boxing 2 nights a week. Fall and winter are definitely our busiest time of year because when winter hits Kamryn is even more busy with winter cheer. There's a lot of basketball games.
I'm a little more laid back in the afternoons than I am in the morning. I'm less strict with the schedule because every day is so different. But for the most part the kids come home grab a snack and either relax for a bit or sit right down to do their homework. Kensington, Tenley and Smith don't get home until 3:40 so we don't have too much time before dinner. Somedays I will be rushing to pick Kamryn up at 5 after practice while Mike is rushing to get Logan to boxing at 5:30 and we're passing each other with a high five in the driveway. You just do what you've got to do...
Some key things we do that help afterschool run smoothly:
- Divide and conquer, if you can. I could not do it without Mike. We work as a team with everything we do for the kids.
- Meal plan! Look at you schedule for the week, if you have a busy night coming up, plan dinner accordingly. My slow cooker is my best friend.
- Realize you can't make everything and give yourself some grace. Now, would I love to make it to see Kamryn cheer at every single game? Of course I would, but it's not realistic when some of the games are a good deal away and the game doesn't start until 7pm on a Friday and I have a 1-year-old.
- Homework...oh homework. When I figure out this one, I'll let you know. We TRY to do homework right when the kids get home to get it out of the way and most days that is what we do, but that's not always realistic. Somedays Kam is up late working on an assignment and somedays Kensington and Tenley are doing homework in the morning before school. We just make it work.
- Ask for help! There's been plenty of times our kids have gotten rides to and from activities and we've given other kids rides. Don't be afraid to ask for help from another parent.
I don't know if any of that is helpful. It's funny because all of this is second nature to me so none of it feels "advice worthy" but I was asked, and this is what we do. I'm really busy but I like being busy, hence the 6 kids. I had a friend once tell me that I thrive in chaos and I don't know that I could describe it better myself. Let's just call it organized chaos. I know what I'm doing almost every second of every day. I meal plan, I schedule, I coordinate, I know what I can handle and what I can't, I keep my family on task, I say no a lot, I have everything written down on a calendar in our kitchen so everyone knows where everyone will be. It's really about always knowing your next move. This is one area of my life I feel pretty confident in. Ask me how to keep a spotless house and keep up with laundry? You've got the wrong girl.
I hope that was helpful!
What do you do to keep things running smoothly before and after school? Let me know in the comments!
